No Off Season...for dads

Who's Ya Boy?

2011-09-16T23:14:00.001-04:00

Dads,

I cannot begin to tell you how important it is to have real relationships. It's great to have 'my boy' or hangout buddies, but there is no replacement for having someone that you can confide in, completely trust, and generally love. Someone you feel safe leaving your most precious possessions with- your heart, your family, your emotions.

This is usually not the case with most men, at least with me. I was and still am very much an introvert. But I know that I need my friends. And guess what, I know my friends need me.

Picture taken from article in Art of Manliness

I know I have written about this already, but I feel this needs to be a reminder and a spur into our hearts, even mine as I write this. Whether you want to believe it or not, you cannot do this life on your own. You cannot raise your children on your own. You cannot be the best husband on your own laurels; you cannot be a successful employee or employer without a mentor. YOU CAN'T!

Challenge -- take a moment, think, and name three of your closest friends. Let me be clear. These friends know you and can account for you. They know the good and bad of your heart, your innermost feelings, and can see through you even when you can't. There is a story in the Bible about Jonathan and David, two men who shared one of the most ridiculously fascinating friendships known to man. What an example, one I still strive to attain. So back to my challenge: can you name three REAL friends? Two? How about one? If no one comes to mind, I challenge you to chase after that friendship. Yes, chase! No man is an island. Besides, who will rescue you and know you need help when that incredible storm comes?

Dads, men, I have NOS and I hope you don't either.

Get In There!

2011-09-05T22:47:00.000-04:00

Image by © Simon Jarratt/Corbis

My boys are growing up! They are starting school again and they are more than elated. They are putting on the final touches of gathering all of their school materials. We are putting them (or at least trying) in the bed a little earlier to get them accustomed to the schedule. Homerooms have been assigned and ALL 7, 263 school events have been planned. I've only put in about 3 in my calendar; I've got some work to do, huh? Back to school night(s), PTA's, play dates and hangouts, meetings, etc. It could be overwhelming if you think too hard. Let's not forget that one is starting middle school -- that's a whole other blog.

Mothers are usually involved in their child's life, especially when it comes to their education. I often times see fathers very much in tuned with their work and careers. That is extremely admirable and necessary. It is important for our children to see us working and providing for our families. The question I pose to us is this: How often should you (and can you) break from work to involve yourself in your child's events? Here's a better question: How much more secure do you believe your child would be if they saw dad walk in on one of their events?

I won't be able to make every event--I can't. But I am going to ask for some time off in order to see my boys learn and grow.

How 'bout it dads? Thoughts? I have NOS...

2011-08-24T09:42:00.001-04:00

Be Specific!

2011-07-02T12:24:00.001-04:00

I love the fact that I have some really good friends who give sound advice. In a quick conversation, I received so much wisdom. I have a friend who told me he was studying the book of Job. In the first chapter, Job prayed for each of his children by name and was very specific. He prayed for each one specifically each day. My friend, (let's give him a name -- Big Frank) started the same routine as Job. He began praying for his kids and family according to their specific needs and desires. As he prays, he thinks about where they are and what they are possibly doing at that time. Big Frank said these in-depth prayers have brought him so much closer to his family.

This was so elementary and yet very profound. I pray for my boys often times superficially: “God, protect my boys.”, or “God, give my boys wisdom and keep them safe.” I am now striving to pray specific prayers. I now pray about my oldest son’s schooling, developing friendships, his ‘tween’ years and his walk with God. For my youngest to develop better reading habits, his friendships to increase and deepen, obedience when directives are given, and that he desires a stronger walk with God. There are so many other things, but that could take all day to read…

Dads (moms too!), let’s pick up our consideration and prayers for our family. Maybe you already do this. If so, keep it up! If not, how much closer to your family God will allow you to be. Your thoughts. I’m The Bassman and I have No Off Season.

The Battle of Antietam and Bacon

2011-06-11T13:54:00.000-04:00

The Battle of Antietam, fought on September 17, 1862, near Sharpsburg, Maryland, and Antietam Creek, was the first major battle in the American Civil War to take place on Northern soil. It was the bloodiest single-day battle in American history, with about 23,000 casualties.

My youngest son and I traveled about 90 minutes to Antietam for a camping trip with his Cub Scout troop. I walked the grounds and felt an eerie peace. The grounds were hollowed, respected, and sacred. Evidence of the war was still scattered across the huge battlefield. My son walked with me over the grounds asking a variety of questions, seemingly relevant to the aura of the area. We later reached the campgrounds the other scouts were running around having a blast, learning and experiencing the joys of camping. The campfire was started, games were played, and some even went deer hunting (no guns, of coarse!). It rained heavily that night and into the morning. Sun up...sun down on the same hollowed grounds.

The morning came and we were awakened by obnoxiously loud black crows in the trees. The ground was soaked from the rain. Yet the boys didn't seem to care. In fact, they only seemed to care about...bacon. There were packs of bacon ready to be cooked on the wooden bench. The campfire was stirred back up to a beautiful gold and the first wave of bacon was put on. You could smell it all over the campsite. And the boys were dripping with anticipation, not for the upcoming hike, not for the comraderie of the troop, but for the bacon! I know how my son loves it as I watched him hover around the hot fire.

Boys, what about the hike?

But what about the bacon?

Do you realize the importance of these grounds?

Do you realize the importance of the bacon?

The 23,000 who died?
I can eat 23,000 pieces of bacon right now...

In the midst of the history, the sacred, and the lessons, I was reminded that boys will still be boys. Yes, they understood the importance of where we were and the outcomes. They also understood the importance of having a healthy breakfast to start the day. I watched them take off onto the battlefield yelling, "Charge!!!" Others screamed out, "Union!!!!", as parents unable to chase after them watched in amazement and childhood awe. My seven year old is going to be and act like a seven year old. And why should I change that? In a few years he is going to have so many different challenges thrown at him that I would be in error for not letting him enjoy this time...this age. Yes, I will set boundaries...and yes, he will try to climb over them.

History was made September 17, 1862; my son will too make history. I just don't need to rush it. I'm still learning...I have NOS...

It's What's Best For You

2011-03-27T23:13:00.000-04:00

I had to have a serious talk with my boys tonight. I had been noticing some facets of their character that I did not think was necessarily wrong, but it was not what I think was the best. So just before they went to bed, we had a Five Minute Blitz (our version of a devotional).

As many of you know, I am really working hard to build our famliy on the standards of the Bible. Well, the backdrop for this conversation stemmed from an abbreviated Deuteronomy 10:12-13:

"And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God...to love Him...and to observe the Lord's commands that I am giving you today for your own good?"

I have been noticing that they were not giving their full potential in their everyday lives. Yes, they are boys...young boys at that. Yet, I know what they are capable of. I now understand why my dad pushed me so hard. He encouraged me (made me) to do chores, to wake up early (6am...ish as a teenager-who does that?) on Saturday mornings to chop wood in the middle of the blistering winter (well, it was Atlanta), to get a job ONE day after my 16th birthday at a grocery store, to pay for the gas in my pimped out, navy blue...Chevy Citation...all of these lessons are now starting to make sense.

So as I spoke with my boys, I had to emphasize that how I am train them is 'for their own good.' This is training. I even have a motto around the house: if you see me working, YOU work! I just hope that they understood that this conversation was a demonstration of my love for them. Talk to me...I am NOS...

Check Your Antifreeze

2011-01-22T23:54:00.000-05:00

My car needed antifreeze! It only needed antifreeze! I feel somewhat silly and very much blessed that this was all it was. Let me explain.

Thursday. I was racing out the door to get to work. I hopped in the Acura, turned the ignition, and got nothing. I tried it again and again, and I got nothing. Frustration. Friday. I get it jumped and it seemingly runs. I was advised to let it run for about thirty minutes to let the engine recharge. After about five minutes the car's RPM meter began jumping from 2 to 1, up and down, up and down. Then, it began to overheat. I 'm began to freak out because I don't know what to do. Saturday. I get the car towed to my mechanic in DC. I am chatting with the tow...truck...man (???) about everything from his cars to his children; he has eleven.

We got to the mechanic and he looked at the car. He told me to crank it up. Once again, the engine began revving up and down. I was almost sure that I had to do some major repair. He looked at the radiator and sees no antifreeze (let me say that I did the same thing earlier). He said, "You need antifreeze in the car." He put some in and then asked me to crank it up again. The engine did the same thing. He opened the cap up again and tells me that the car sucked up all the antifreeze. "You need more in here.", he said. He opened the cap, seemingly put in another gallon of antifreeze, and revved the throttle to about 5 or 6. I've never heard this car run that hard. He held the throttle lever at that level for about a minute or two, and then let it go. The engine hummed. One of the sweetest sounds from a car. No up and down motion of the rpm meter, just a beautiful hummmmmmm.

"You need to keep a gallon of antifreeze in the trunk for something like this, okay?" And then he walked off.

I drove off trying to think about what I learned from all of this. There are a couple of things.

1. Check your antifreeze level, especially in the winter. This will keep your car from freezing. Anti...freeze. Yes, a revolutionary thought.

2. Check your family. Constantly. Just like you check to ensure that your car runs smoothly, I have to do the same for my family. Is everybody okay? What are their emotions? Are they happy and joyful? Peer pressures? etc. Is my wife happy and radiant? Does she even like me?

3. Check yourself. How am I doing spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially? Am I striving to do my best for me and those around me?

Ever looked under the hood of a car? All of those parts from the smallest to the largest make the car run smoothly. One malfunctioning part can change the entire dynamic of your ride. The same goes for the family. It takes a lot to make a family run well. This I have learned and still learning. It also takes a lot to make a car run well, especially a lot of antifreeze.

I have NOS...

Holiday Sentiments

2010-12-15T23:27:00.000-05:00

"I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year." -- Charles Dickens

It is every year around this time that we capture the warm fuzzies in our hearts as we look forward to celebrating this festive season. We eagerly anticipate seeing family and friends, going home to mom and dad, or possibly seeing the first snowflakes fall outside our window while you cozy up to a bright and crackling fire. The Christmas Fir is beautifully decorated with ornaments and candy canes and silver and red presents adorn the floor around the tree. Giving thoughtful gifts to incredible friends is always a pleasure. I look forward to those kinds of Christmases.

But not this year...

Sure, I can't wait to see my parents in Atlanta. I can't wait to sit at the breakfast table and sop my mama's biscuits (if you have never done, this your life is so incomplete right now). And yes, I am looking forward to catching up with old friends and family that I have not spoken to for a while. But the tangible presents...I just not feeling. I can't tell if its because of the recession or that I am not feeling meandering through another gargantuan mall while some woman dressed in black tries to spray another cologne on my hands. This year I want to have a different perspective.

I want to give a smile.

I want to thank people for the influence they have had in my life.

I want to honor my wife more.

I want to bless my boys and feel them jump on my back.

I want to hug my students.

I want to give of my time, my heart, and my ears to those who need my time, my heart, and my ears.

I want to give of myself. This is how I can honor Christmas and keep it in my heart...all year. How about you?

In the words of a famous Irish prayer--

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Peace and blessings.

NOS...

I Have to Use My Own Money?

2010-12-11T21:30:00.000-05:00

There is nothing like being in New York for the holidays. The Christmas tree is being lit, the stores are flooded with people from all fifty states, and the bustling streets smell like roasted peanuts! I love it! Well, my boys wanted to go downtown as usual to catch some Black Friday sales. I really did not mind because I like the never-ending action of the city. My oldest wanted to go to the NBA store. It is a fantastic store full of NBA jerseys, posters, and basketballs. He walked in the store and it was if he forgot why he was there.

"Son, do you know what you want?", I asked.

"Umm...no! Well, I think I want to look for some Wizards jerseys or shorts!"

They did not have them. So he didn't know what to do. So we're walking...and walking...and walking. I could tell that he was a little unsure also because he had to use his money. I know when I have a little pocket change, everything is given extra consideration.

Well, on to Toys R Us. This place was straight mayhem! Children everywhere begging for gifts. Parents everywhere...begging for gifts! Daddies toting incredibly large stuffed animals while mothers are asking them to also hold the oversized toy robots in the other hand! That place is crazy during the Christmas holidays.

Well, If you are familiar with the NY Toys R Us, you know there is a ferris wheel IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE!!!! He wanted to ride.

"Dad, can I ride?", he asked.

"Sure baby! You have your money?"

"I have to pay for it?", as his mouth is wide open.

"Yep!", I responded with a slight laugh.

We never got on the ride.

Money is good to have. We sometimes have it, and sometimes we don't. I want to teach my boys the value of money. I want to teach them that everything they see they don't need or don't have to have. How do you teach this? I would love to hear your strategies. I am NOS...especially during the holidays during a recession.

A Life Marathon V -- The Finish?

2010-11-29T23:32:00.000-05:00

"I gotta feeling...that tonight's gonna be a good night!" These are the words by Black Eye Peas I heard as I triumphantly jogged across the finish line. I wish I could upload the video of the crossing (Yes, I had my iPhone in hand recording the whole thing!) During the last 1/4 of a mile, with an excrutiating pain in my ankle and now heavy fatigue, I spoke into my now sweaty phone, huffing and puffing, and now jogging across the line. I no longer cared that my time was...long. I could have cared less that many runners (ummm, make that thousands of runners) finished before me. I was enjoying the moment. The crowd was roaring, clapping and celebrating every finisher's triumph. God gave me the chance to run...a marathon! 26.2 miles worth or concrete! Only 1% of Americans have done this! I need to go get my 26.2 car magnet.

Someone once told me that the marathon is just the end of a long training process. I had never viewed it that way before. I have some friends who began training for a race. They weren't sure how they were going to do run without stopping. Yet, I checked their Facebook page and saw their bright faces, full of gigantic smiles, in celebration of a huge feat accomplished...they finished their race...without stopping! I was so proud of them! My running partner finished his grueling race with class and perserverance...he finished!

My marathon showed me a couple things about life.

I must continue to train daily to be a man of God.
I must always train to get better, smarter, stronger, and more humble to be the husband my wife needs me to be.
I have to continue to learn how to be a better dad to my boys. I have never raised an eleven year old. I have never dealt with a boy who has an older brother and still seeks his own attention. Next year, I will have a new set of issues.
Although I trained for a marathon and grew in my distance, I also have to continue to read and seek great advice from friends and family to do this right. I've never done this before!

So here's the deal...I still running! I'm still training. I have many more pairs of shoes for husbands (let's call them Hon-E-Doos) to buy and many more shoes for dads (let's call these Dad-Can-eye's) to wear out. Training can be good, but it can also be long and tiring. So what do I (and you!) need to do? Keep on running. If you feel like you have finished your race, you may have deceived yourself! Put on your shoes, and run! You and I have No Off Season!

A Life Marathon (IV)-- The Pain

2010-11-21T00:45:00.000-05:00

The pain began on mile 4. I had to run 22 more grueling miles with this aggravating pain. The first 3 miles were great -- the unyielding enthusiasm from all of the fans, the vigor of the runners, the electric atmosphere. It was all there. And then came...that pain. It was at the top of my right ankle. I had never felt it before; not even sure where it came from. My running partner cramped continuously throughout the race. Pain. As I had to stop and start, the pain from my ankle became progressively worse, so much so that it was more painful to start running again than the actual run.

Pain.

Pain is everywhere. If you talk with anyone for a bit of time, you can hear the joys and pains of their life. My friend suffered a brain aneurysm. Another colleague was in an unhealthy marriage. Once to have it all only to lose everything and begin all over again...pain. To see your daughter on a great track to have a successful life only to have a major life setback while you watch...pain. Losing your job, your spouse, children, or best friend...pain.

We have all suffered in some way in our life. It can be short or last for years. And we all handle it in other ways. My ankle tortured me just about the entire race, but I completely forgot about it when I crossed the finish line.

What's the point -- pain will come, and pain can stay, but all pain stops. There is no pain that lasts always. Also, there is a lesson in it. No one enjoys it, or at least they shouldn't. Euripedes said, "Do not consider painful what is good for you." The Bible says, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." -- Hebrews 12:10-12

I had to run a twenty mile route while training for the race. That was the hardest run I had ever done. I felt sick, dehydrated, and consistently thought about all the miles I still had to run.. So I adjusted my thinking, considered what I learned, and changed my run. I drank often during the race, ran with someone, and had the end in sight. And I completely forgot about the pain when I crossed the finish line in a time of...well, don't you worry your little head over that!

Don't ignore the lessons that come through these hard times. They make us better. I'd love to hear from you. I have NOS...

A Life Marathon -- My Running Partner

2010-11-08T22:38:00.000-05:00

After consistent questioning and persuasions, I made the decision to run the MCM. Training for this race was different for me. I had been running for some years now- two miles here, four miles there. Yet, I never really pushed myself to train. Training takes consistency, determination and hard work. From those three words, consistency was my challenge. I had to train...often. Well...

Steve was my running partner. We trained together. We ran together. And after a while, we drew closer as friends...together. I began to understand his running pace and he understood mine. As we trained, running became more than just running. It became more of a friendship. I began to know more about him, his wife and family, and his interests. He got a chance to know a bit more of my victories and challenges, my strengths and shortcomings. But we ran together -- 5 miles, 8 miles, 10 and then 12. We ran in the streets, on golf courses, along public and private routes. We often talked when we ran, and sometimes we barely spoke. Yet, we ran together.

Finally, the culmination of our training -- 26.2 miles of pavement. We rode the Metro in together, started the race together, and yes, FINISHED together. THere was a time during the race where he had some sever leg pains. He told me to go ahead and meet him at the finish line. There was no way I could do that. WE were doing this together. The only thing that we did not do together...was cross the finish line because somehow he got an extra dose of wind and ran ahead of me as I was filming the finish on my iPhone. No fair! Whatever happened to leaving no man behind...?

I have grown to understand as a man, a husband, and especially as a dad that I need friends. I need true friendships in my life to keep me accountable. I promise you -- if I were not training with Steve, I NEVER would have run this race. I am completely sure of this. I would not have been motivated, or determined.

Most people, especially men, do not appreciate accountability. It's being able to answer someone truthfully about who you are and what you struggle with. Its a deeper comraderie, one that I used to feel very uncomfortable with. I still do at times, but I know it is the best thing for me. How about you? And Steve, thanks for the runs -- I am a better man because of you and them.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." -- Proverbs 27:17.

What are your friendships like? Do you have anyone that you can pour out your heart and thoughts to and know tht they will love and respect you just as much? If not, I challenge you to think of some people that you would feel comfortable with sharing your thoughts and mind with. I'd love to hear about them and what your relationship is like. I'm NOS...

A Life Marathon -- The Fans

2010-11-06T00:04:00.000-04:00

The grueling race began. One foot after the other running towards the finish line. There were hundreds of fans along the side of the road early in the chilled morning with their children wrapped in coats. I was well aware that there were places around the city where supporters were able to see the runners and encourage them on. But screaming fans were everywhere. EVERYWHERE!!!! There were thousands of people with blue, white, and pink poster signs rousing their favorite runners on. There were marines dressed in fatigues dispersed throughout the race giving high fives; little 10-year old kids were passing out waters and Powerade to runners they did not even know. In all honesty, there was never a half mile in the entire race that there were not screaming, bell-in-hand supporters....

Photo by John Miranda

"Come on! You can do it!"

"Keep going! Don't stop!
"You got this!"
"You were stupid enough to sign up for this race. You better not stop now. You've got a long way to go!" (Someone said that; I am not sure if I was fired up about her.)

Even runers were encouraging other runners. It was so great and so needed. I really believe that it would have been extremely difficult to run that race without all of the rousing encouragement. During my extensive training, I had to run a twenty miler. Around mile 12, my wife and kids drove along Route 214 to meet me and see how I was doing. They met me two other times just to encourage and make sure my body felt okay. I am positive this run could not have happened without their support.
"Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal." -- Robert Collier
How often do you encourage others? We should't look for it, but always ready and willing to give it. And how often do you encourage your own family? I have to do a better job at this. I'm NOS.

My encouragement to you. -- "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." -- 1 Thessalonians 5:11

A Life Marathon -- The Start

2010-11-02T00:01:00.000-04:00

It could not have been a better day to run a race than Halloween Day, 2010. The weather was perfect a nice chill to the fall air; the runners were ready, and the atmosphere was electric. I had been anticipating this day for months. Yet, I did not always look forward to running a marathon. In fact, I NEVER wanted to run a marathon.

I had been running for a couple of years now. I ran in the Marine Corps Marathon 10K race in 2008. I watched the marathon runners prepare for their excruciatingly long run and thought to myself, "I ain't doing that." Well, a couple of my 'I ain't doing that' opposing friends, who ran the race last year, persistently coerced me to run it this year. "Dijon, you're a runner! You can do this!" "Dijon, just take the pace slow and you will finish." "It'll be great!" Yadda yadda yadda. I reluctantly said yes. The problem for me was not that I did not think I could do it. The problem was I was scared. Umm, rephrase -- Haw-rhi-phied!!! 26 miles? That's from my house clear past Annapolis! The amount of time I could run would equal the amount of time I could drive to New York, with two rest stops and relax and eat a Cinnabon. (You want one right now, huh?) Haw-rhi-phied!!!

Taking risks is scary, isn't it? Even the most calculated ones can be frightening. A little while ago, I was teaching my boys how to ride a bike. And every time they got on that seat, fear would hit their face. They were scared when I let the bike go. Why? Because if and when I let go, they had the major risk of failing, I mean falling. When we let go of our fear, we have the beautiful risk of failing, I mean falling. So instead, we hold on to our fear so that we won't fall, I mean fail. We can often feel safe...with fear.

If I held on to my fear, I would have never signed up to run this daring race. I would have continued to leave that long run for the 'lunatics'. Teaching our kids to always play it safe reduces their ability to take a risk, to know how to risk, to step out on faith, to have courage, and of being a kid. You may ask, "What if they get hurt?" What if I am not there when it happens? What if they fail? What will their peers think? Well, here are some answers:

"What if they get hurt?" -- They will live.

What if I am not there when it happens? -- Someone else will help.

What if they fail? -- Failing is often times...good!

What will their peers think? -- People are going to talk about you anyway, whether you do well or not.

I am glad that even at my age, this lunatic is still learning to take risks.

"Always do what you are afraid to do." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Share your thoughts and opinions. Either way, I would like to hear what you think. I'm in N.O.S. to learn...

Still Learning...

2010-02-22T23:59:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about my boys and the things I have learned as a dad over the last couple of days. Just thoughts...

1) This takes work!
2) I have to give my boys more credit than I do.
3) I have to trust that they will put into practice what I teach them.
4) They do listen to me.
5) They often follow the examples that I do, whether good or bad.
6) They are boys, not men; so I cannot give them a man's responsibility...yet.
7) They are boys, not men; so I cannot expect to act like a man. I have to allow them to be...boys.
8) They know more than what I give them credit for.
9) I need to speak to them in a calm voice...more often.
10) Freedom is often harder to give up than I expected...they are growing up and I have to allow them to.
11) I have to get more advice about how to raise them...I have never raised a ten year old and a six year old before. Each day is new.
12) They do want to spend time with me; I have to make that time happen and make it special.
13) There are times when they don't want to spend time with me. I have to make that time happen and let it be special for them.
14) There are times when I might not want to be around them...I need space, and that's okay.
15) I need to spend more time with my wife, and let them know and understand that she is the larger priority; she was and is first.
16) I must give them time to create their own friendships...life long friendships even at this age.
17) They can be impatient; I can't.
18) They are needy, even when they act as if they are not.
19) They like to be wrestled.
20) I gotta read more books about boys and how to raise them.
21) I must guide them spiritually and morally correct.
22) I cannot raise them in the same way...they are different.
23) They like dessert more than dinner.
24) They like to feel special too.
25) This is expensive.

Take some time and reflect on the things you have learned from your children. There are lessons right in front of you. Don't think so, leave them alone for 5 minutes in the house-you'll see! I would love to hear what you are learning. You know I am NOS!

I Know You're Out Of School, But You Still Have Work To Do!

2010-02-10T17:32:00.005-05:00

If you are on the east coast, you have been pounded by the snow, or as it has been affectionately named, 'Snowmageddon'! Well, my boys have been out of school since Monday and it doesn't look like they are going back until Tuesday. After a while, being stuck in the house, you can get cabin fever. Especially if you are used to being out most of the day. Well, my boys are not really suffereing from that. They aren't really getting on our nerves. They are actually really good. We have played board games as a family, played in the snow, and relaxed and watched TV. I have had to be creative myself during these times. I have played the games, watched some soccer, cooked a little more and shoveled a little more.

Yet, I am a still teacher, by occupation and life!

So I was sitting at the computer devising a lesson dealing with African American History for my boys. They had no clue of what was going on. As they finished watching their episode of Phineas and Ferb, I summoned them to the table and told them the lesson.

"Boys, you are going to be making a biographical cube on a historical African American figure or movement. You will be working together and it is due on Friday." In one of the last blogs, I mentioned how their mouths dropped when they owed me money. Well, imagine those same lips on the floor again. You could see it all over their faces. I can tell you what they were thinking:

"But we're not in school."
"But it's snowing outside"
"Don't we get a break?"
"But what about Phineas and Ferb?"
"Do we have to?"
"I thought you loved us?"
"Can I have lunch instead?"

I figured this -- they would be in school anyway learning from some incredible teachers. I might as well continue the process at home. Let's not break up a good thing! I was only frustrated with myself that I had not come up with this when the snow first started.

Although everyone is not a teacher by occupation, they are a teacher. I am also reminded that kids will be kids. When offering fun over work, the latter will most likely lose. I want to instill that work comes before play (in every area of life) in our world. Although my boys are not lazy (well, most of the time), they need to understand this principle. Play is so much more enjoyable when you have done your work.

What are some things you are doing to keep your kids occupied during Snowmaggedon? Or are they driving you insane? Or are you planning a trip to the Bahamas (without them)? I would love some feedback. I am NOS...

Seize the Moment!

2010-02-01T21:01:00.002-05:00

Here are some great tips I found for fathers.http://www.greatdads.org/ Enjoy!

SEIZE THE MOMENT #2 – EXAMPLES

Sweep your young daughter up in your arms and dance around for a moment or two. Sit down beside your child and ask him to tell you all about his latest “passion” – what he is really interested in.

Have a meal where everyone must eat with the “wrong” hand. Wear yourself out wrestling with your kid on the family room floor. Invite your child to help you plan a special surprise for Mom – a nice meal, a “Mom Appreciation Night”.

On a snow day, sled down the hill with your child. Or make snow ice cream. Some evening, say to a child before bedtime, “Come outside with me” and there have a tent set up for a night of camping with dad under the stars.

When you have lots of “seized moments” like this with your child, it is quite likely the child will look back someday and say, “Dad was the guy who made life a lot of fun.”

Wishing you the very best,

Dr. Bob

Bob Hamrin - President, Great Dads

I cannot wait to try these! I think it will be so much fun. Let me know how you do these. I am no off season (NOS)...
The Bassman

God, Please Help Me...

2010-01-24T22:13:00.000-05:00

It was very interseting to hear how our Sunday morning worship service message about how pain and worship come together. I experienced an example of this weekend.

Last night, lil' K was in a lot of pain. He was hollering and screaming at the top of his lungs due to discomfort. Me, being the sometimes unemotional dude, went upstairs to see what was the problem. I encouraged him (better yet, demanded him) to stop the crying and yelling. He was trying to let me how much pain he was really in. I had to change my attitude and get sensitive here. So I went downstairs and fixed him some food. As I was doing this, he was still upstairs hollering. I walk back upstairs, poised this time, only to hear something so soothing. I peaked through the door and saw him sitting with tears raining from his eyes. This is what I heard...

"God, please help me. God, pleeease (sniff) make my pain (sniff) go away. Pleeeeeaaasse God, make it go (sniff) away. In Jesus name, Amen."

I...was...done! He has prayed when in pain before, but for whatever reason, it was special to hear this night. I prayed with him and put him in the bed, where he fell fast asleep.

He went straight to the bathroom when he woke up. I thought he would still be in pain. Yet, a couple of minutes later, I hear this voice of excitement.

"I...feel good! I...I...feel good! I...feel good! I...I...feel good!", he sings.

A smile came to my face as I knew he was feeling a lot better and relieved. He even began humming Black or White by the late Michael Jackson. That was funny.

I learned some valuable lessons from this experience. For one, I learned that I need to be more sensitive others when they go through pain and hardships. There was no need for me to be the 'boy, you need to man up' dad., while he was crying. Besides, I would probably would want some sympathy if I was going through pain.

I learned something else. Pain can sometimes...be good! I know that as parents we don't want our children to go through pain, especially if we can prevent it. Yet, they have to have pain to understand the lesson. We as dads had to go through lessons to get the meaning of the message. Maybe your mom or dad told you to stay away from fire. You didn't. Guess what happened...YOU GOT BURNED! Outcome -- you played it safe around fire. Some of us were disciplined physically with spankings, and some got whoopins (not just whippings)! Those got your attention as well.

There is one final thing that I learned -- I like when the pain is over! There are a couple of reasons for this. First, it's over! And I came out a little better than I was before. I learned from my lesson. And secondly, I can (in some instances) appreciate the pain. It is always better to look at a situation as a reflection time and not as a current time. There is a great verse in the Bible that says, "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." -- Hebrews 12:11. Wow, I get it!

We as dads, have some incredible pains, whether we want to admit it or not. All of these 'pains' don't have to be physical, although as we get older we feel a few more dents and bruises. We DO feel the 'pains' of raising our kids with moralilty and dignity. And often times, when our kids don't go that way, we feel those pains as well. We feel the pains of trying to make our marriages work, and work right. And let's be honest, there will be the times when she loves you, but she may not like you (yes men, a pain-I know!) We have the pains of keeping our integrity on the job, making our money work, ensuring our extended family is well, keeping our house from falling apart, etc.

Talk to me about some of the pains of being a dad. And then tell me about the encouragements you got out of those pains. Tell me if you are still trying to get out of those times. I and others will be very encouraged. I am in No Off Season to hear from you.

Here's Your Allowance, But You Owe Me

2010-01-10T23:21:00.002-05:00

As you all know, we are living in a tough economic times. Yet, I am reminded of Rush Limbaugh when he said that although we are living in a recession, he chooses not be to be a part of it. I have the same sentiment. Well, I have given the boys an allowance. I'll be honest, I really just started to get serious about it. Anyway...

I promised the boys that I would give them a certain amount every two weeks. They can use this money on whatever they want (within reason). They also have to learn how to use their money. They have a piggy bank that they got from an investment firm called Lenox Advisors. It teaches my boys how to use their money wisely. Thanks Lenox Advisors. Check it out...

I am not sure if this is the case for everyone, but when money gets tight, you look for ways to conserve it. For instance, cutting back on eating out, reducing cell phone usage, turning off the lights, using coupons in the grocery st...did I say turning off the lights??? I did! This is one of the things I had to consistently tell the boys to do! When my boys would leave a room in the house, they would always leave the lights on. I am a cotton-pickin' stickler about leaving stuff on...TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!!! Especially if you are not in the room. I would tell them to turn them off, time and time again. Still, no change. I had to get drastic! I came up with a brilliant plan.

Everytime you left on a light in the house, you owed me $.20. Every time. They did not really take it seriously. Lights were still being left on. So I let them know that I was taking twenty cents from their allowance and I was not keeping track of who did it. This meant that both would owe me money unless someone confessed to it.

Well, the magical day came. After dinner, I brought them over to the couch and gave them their allowance. I felt like an old patriarch giving my sons a blessing.

"Here's your allowance and here is yours!" They were so appreciative, so grateful. But here was the kicker.

"Boys, you both owe me $.60 for leaving on the lights.", I told them both. Mouths deropped! Not dropped, but deropped! I really wanted to hold back the laughter.

"What?", the youngest exclaimed. The oldest had his bottom lip hanging below his belt buckle.

They finally regained some composure, picked up their lips, and submitted to the agreement.

Look...some of you may or may not agree here. But I have seen an dramatic reduction in the number of lights that are left on in my house. Even when a light is left on, they race back to go turn it off before I get there. I love it.

Another life lesson for them. I have to teach them to be wise consumers for their own good. I have to teach them how to be 'green', how to look for the best bargains, and how to effectively manage their life. This is just one way for them to do it and a great way for me to 'try and trap them in order to get some of my money back!' Just kidding.

I am NOS in hearing your thoughts...

Keep Singing Dad...Keep Singing!

2010-01-03T22:31:00.000-05:00

I was in a holiday concert this past blistery weekend. It was phenomenol! We had a lot of fantastic acts and a lot of good fun. Well, at the end of the two hour concert, we introduced all of the members of the band and of the group, Shades of Vision (of which I have I have sung with for the last 13 years). As the band played a funky rendition of 'Funkin' for Jamaica', one of the group members introduced me. I could talk about family, my life, and any other thing I felt necessary that would describe me. I began singing and then talking about my family, who were 'sitting' stage left.

"I have a beautiful wife of twelve years and two...two...", I said as I was center stage.

As I was pointing and talking, my two handsome, energetic boys were jumping up and down, with everyone of their teeth showing, giving their unyeilding support for their performing dad.

"My two...boys", I finished my sentence. I was pointing, the boys were jumping, and the audience was laughing. It was a great moment.

What a night. People fought the temptation to stay in their warm house to come in the 20 degree weather. The food was great, at least from what I heard. The singers were sensational! My wife was more gorgeous than words can say. Yet, my highlight was watching my 10 and 6 year old boys jumping up and down celebrating their dad...words cannot express.

I hope and pray that God will give you many celebrations this year. Look for those victories and celebrations each day. Tell me about some celebrations you have had already. I am NOS in celebrating with you...

But Mom, That's Not What I Said"

2009-12-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

So we are sitting at the dining room table eating dinner. My youngest tells us that he is not that hungry. He gnaws at his chicken a little more, gives up, puts it back on his plate and tells us, "I'm finished". He then takes his styrofoam plate to the trash (we're tired of washing dishes!) and throws it away with the chicken and pasta still on the plate. He then comes back to the table reaching for a candy cane.

"What are you doing?", we ask.

"I am getting a candy cane", he says with confidence.

"Sorry son, you just said that you were full".

He looks at us with a confused look on his face. "I didn't say I was full."

"Yes you did. You said that you were full!", we say with FULL confidence. I am standing ground here. I know, it's just a candy cane, but it's the principle!

"Dad, I didn't say I was full", he says again. He is standing his ground as well. How are you gonna stand ground against a thirty-se...against an adult?

"Son, you sat right there and said you were full!"

"Mom, Dad, I said that I was not that hungry. I did not say I was full!"

My wife and I look at each other on the sly feeling...BUSTED!!!!!!!!!! He was right. He never said he was full. He was soooo right. My wife and I felt ridiculously deflated. Humbled...like we just got gonged on the infamous Gong Show.

I am reminded that you can learn lessons from anything and anyone. My youngest reminded me of that. God puts those lessons in front of you from anywhere. Tell me of some stories that your tender sacraments of Him have taught you. I am in a NOS mode...

You Need To Do Your Chores!

2009-12-12T20:45:00.000-05:00

I got tired. I really got tired. Tired of coming to my house and seeing everything out of order. I would straighten one thing up and another would get messed up. So I would straighten that up, and then, the first thing I straightened...got messed up again!

So the Lord touched. Better yet, he smacked me upside the upper left side of my neck and reminded me that I had two boys sitting... on the couch... watching... TV. Two additional helpers. What a coincidence! Why did I not think of this earlier? They need to be helping! So I devise this great scheme -- make them help me with the house! How...how...how brilliant!

So I sit down at the kitchen/ breakfast/ homework/ mail collector/ pseudo business office/ conference table and devise a plan. I then summoned the boys to the multi-purpose table and asked them what they thought would be some good chores for them to do. I knew there would be some resistance. They said some stuff like 'make up their bed' or 'straighten up their room when it gets messy', you know, things they are supposed to do. Those are non-negotiables. So I asked them what other things could they do. The oldest said he could help load and unload the dishwasher as well as take out the recycling. The youngest said he can pack the recycling into one small area as well as sweep the kitchen floor (since it seems like more rice is on the floor in his area than stays on his plate!).

I agreed to these. It's a start. What I want to do is get them to a point where I don't have to say a word and they just do what they are supposed to do. BUT HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE????? I need your input, family. I am in a NOS mode to know...

BTW...what age can I get them to start folding my clothes? I'm just sayin'...

Mom, Dad...I've Got a Proposal

2009-11-30T00:15:00.002-05:00

We were siting at the dinner table eating the best of Thanksgiving leftovers. My oldest is sitting across the table from me eating the remnants of the macaroni and cheese, when all of the sudden, he says, "Mom, Dad, you know I like money, right?"

"Yes son.", I say as I am thinking that this is already starting to be an interesting conversation.

"I was thinking that I could start a tea stand after church and sell the tea to everyone who is getting sick.", he says with a gleeming smile on his face. I was right---this will be an interesting conversation. My wife, P, and I are really not sure where this is going but he continues to explain his entire idea with careful thought and confidence. He mentions how much he should sell each item for and how the money he raises could subsidize for his allowance.

Now the conversation is getting intriguing for P and I. So I ask, "Where and how will you get this tea?"

"Well, I was thinking that since we get it from New York, Ama Shirley can send it to us in the mail or by UPS or Fedex, daily. You pack it, we ship it!"

Stitches!!! What in the world! My wife and I are cracking up now. I was thoroughly surprised at how much he had thought about this.

"Well son, do you want the stand by the concession stand or by the front doors where everyone enters and leaves?", I say, trying to provoke some more thoughtful responses.

"Hmmm, I need to think that one through, but maybe by the snack stand.", he says. By this time, he stopped eating the macaroni. He was all business!

"But the restroom is right beside it as well."

"Hmmm, I didn't think of that", he says with a pensive tone.

After asking some more probing and thought-provoking questions, I challenged him to write a detailed proposal by Friday. P and I would look at it and give him some thoughtful feedback. But I must say, we were both extremely proud. My son was thinking like a businessman. Tea stand today, owner of 75% of Dubai property tomorrow, or maybe SEC Chairman, or maybe AOL CEO, or maybe Wharton School of Business professor, or Secretary of the Treasury, or maybe...

Do you really think I am gonna let this one slide? Best believe I am gonna ask him on Friday how this proposal is coming along. This could potentially be college tuition! Any suggestions on how to continue to nurture this? You know I am NOS...
(And no, I am not gonna put that much pressure on him this Friday-he's only 10; but on his next birthday is another story!)

Can I Get You Something To Drink?

2009-11-27T15:56:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving dinner was awesome! There was juicy meats and and sauteed vegetables all over the table. We had a few friends over as well to share in the joyous festivities. The football game was on loud and clear on the tube (will the Detroit Lions ever win a Thanksgiving Day football game?) and people were talking and laughing...and some falling asleep. It was a wonderful sight.

Well, my boys put on the 'apron' and began asking people, "Would you like anything to drink?" It took and my wife aback for a second. They circulated the room and asked just about everyone who did not have a drink. It was wonderful. My boys are serving! They were so excited to have people over the house.

Question- why did they never ask me or my wife? Show offs!

The Bassman is NOS...

I'm So Thankful For...

2009-11-25T23:24:00.001-05:00

The other day, I went to my boys' school for their annual Thanksgiving Holiday service. The Head of School told what he was thankful for. He said how he was grateful for the big things, such as students, faculty, and family. He also said he was thankful for the simple things, such as pencils and rulers, kids who look him in the eye when they greet him, and students who don't. It was very heart warming and reflective.

Well, it's my turn.
I am thankful for my fantastic life, full of its ups and downs.
I am thankful for my dazzling wife, who has taken me leaps and bounds.
I am thankful for my fun-loving boys, who keep my life alive.
I am thankful for their numerous toys, and how they keep them busy when often times I can't.
I am thankful for my wonderful Maryland home-it helps to keep us warm.
And thankful that I have a place that keeps us safe from the storms.
I am thankful that God has given me a chance to teach, where even I have learned alot.
I am thankful that I have students that I can reach, and teach them how to cope when Life puts them on the spot.
I am thankful that I have big, brown eyes to see; I can see the color purple and red.
I thank God that I have a big mouth to speak, and sing songs of how for me He bled.

I am thankful that I am a dad. I am thankful that my boys actually like me.

I am thankful for my close friends, who keep me in check.

I am thankful that I can listen to music, make music, be music.

I am thankful that I can worship freely in whatever way I want to.

I can read, write, speak, talk, hear, taste, smell, touch, and feel. I can kick a soccer ball. I can run. I can type this blog. I can make a decent stack of pancakes. I even can go to IHOP and get a decent stack of pancakes. I am thankful that I know a lot of things. I am thankful that I am clueless to a lot of things. I am even thankful that there are things I don't want to know.

Man, I have so much to be grateful for. Some things are silly, some are heart warming, and some serious. If I kept writing, this blog could be pages long.

I thank God for being...God, and God alone.

I thank God for not allowing me to be God.

I finally thank YOU for reading these thoughts.

I challenge you to find time and think about what you are grateful for-not just at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but also on your birthday, Flag Day, Lincoln's birthday, and even March 16th! I have No Off Season in hearing about what you are grateful for.

Be blessed and have a great holiday season. 'Nuff Love!

My Boys Keep Me Alive!

2009-11-22T22:52:00.003-05:00

My youngest son turned 6 years old this past week and did not let us forget it. Funny! We went to our boys' parent teacher conferences and both teachers said they are doing extremely well. Awesome! The oldest has become a ridiculous Washington Redskins fan (even though they have not been that successful lately). Oh well! My youngest started singing (half screaming) Whitney Houston's "I Go To The Rock" in Famous Dave's Restaurant, full with performance moves. Hilarious! Another friend told me that she threw up all over her child...and the child celebrated the event by clapping! Nice! These are just some of the things that happened...this weekend! Can you imagine the rest of the week?

This weekend has shown me, yet again, that I always need to celebrate being a parent. It is so much fun, and work, and joy, and stress, and love, and ...(you get the point!).

Tell me some stories of how your kids keep you vibrant, on the move, alive! I can't wait to read the stories (and crack up laughing!). I am NOS in parenting, laughter, happiness....Peace.

Running with the pack

2009-11-16T23:35:00.000-05:00

53:45 unofficial. That was my time for the Veterans Day 10K race I ran. 53:45 unofficial. My goal was to knock off some minutes from my 10K last year. I knocked off about 5 minutes; I am happy about that. Yet my time was 53:45 unofficial.

I had a very good pace starting out. I actually changed my running style some months ago to conserve a bit of energy. It worked. But during the race, I stopped...three times to be exact. Once for water, the second time I am clueless about, and the third was because I really was tired (next time, I will stay off the late night movies and donuts before race day!)

But that was not my lesson. My lesson was that I needed to stay in a pack, run with other people to keep a constant pace. Why is that so important? Well, I, The Bassman, am a very successful introvert (at least I can be). I know how to be alone and be comfortable. I have noticed in the last couple of years that I work best when I work with others. That's just me. Trying to do it on my own usually jacks me up (for lack of a better phrase). Well, the first three miles of the race, I ran in packs. I would join one, then move up to another, and so on. Well, around mile four, I was strugglin'. And, I was running...by myself. So I tried to pick up the pace. I even began running beside a young lady, unbeknownst to her, to keep a steady pace. That worked for a while. But she kept going while my pace began to sloooowwwwww.

I finished though, 53:45 unofficial. I could have done better; I could have done worse. But I knew this. I ran my best when I was with someone. That was just me.

I have matured enough to also know that my life (spirituality, work, family, etc.) works best when I have others in it, holding me accountable. When I try to do it alone, I usually, USUALLY, jack myself up (for lack of a better phrase). How about you? Are there others in your life that help keep you accountable? Or have you tried to run ahead of the pack? Or maybe you work best by yourself-I don't know. I do believe that everybody needs somebody, whether you want to admit it or not. To back me up, there is this really great Bible verse that I was reminded of the other day: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

53:45 unofficial. What could it have been if I was running with someone else? Lend me your thoughts. I'm NOS in learning...

A Family That Prays Together...

2009-11-09T23:38:00.003-05:00

There is an old saying, "A family that prays together stays together." In my last blog, I spoke about how we needed to have time as a couple to talk about our marriage. Well, I'm keeping my promise. My wife and I had a fantastic time this past weekend talking and catching up, encouraging and challenging each other. During our chat, we also set out some spiritual goals. We decided that at a certain time each night, we are going to pray.

I feel really good because we have kept to our promise so far. We have prayed each night (about whatever!) together and it feels good. It's not a long prayer. We literally take 5 minutes each night and speak our heart.

I encourage you to take time and try this with your spouse. If you aren't married, try it with your kids or even a friend. Do you think you can do it? I challenge you to try it. And I challenge you to keep me accountable as well. I am NOS now...

Let's Not Talk About the Kids!

2009-11-02T22:31:00.001-05:00

My wife and I took the time to watch 'Revolutionary Road' the other night. It was an excellent movie about a young couple facing the challenges of a relatively young marriage. After the movie, we had a very stirring conversation about what we saw. What a great conversation! We both got a lot from it and, more importantly, we got an opportunity to reconnect. We got a chance to talk about us-not the kids, not work, not school... just us. We spoke about our marriage, our spiritual walk, dreams, etc. It was good and needed.

There are so many 'distractions' that take me away from the person whom I love the most-my wife. Although, I love my boys like no other and will do anything for them, no one else can satisfy me, spur me, encourage me, and love me like she can! These 'distractions' -jobs, commutes, Facebook, technology, appointments, and yes, even my kids, can be distractions.

I have to (and want to) ensure that I spend time and talk with her. She needs that; so do I! I also have to make sure that I make those times sacred. We call this time our 'Coffee and Conversation'. I'll be honest, I am guilty of letting these sacred times slip through the cracks. I am making every effort to ensure that they happen. Uninterruped, every Friday night at 9 pm, after the kids are generally down for bed. There, I put it out in the universe!

How do you keep that time with your special someone sacred? And for that matter, do you have a sacred time? Challenge yourself to have deep, meaningful conversation. For whatever reason, this can often times be challenging for men. Yet, give me some thoughts on how you keep the conversation going. I'm open. Besides, I'm in a NOS period...

Fight! Fight!

2009-10-25T21:39:00.005-04:00

I was teaching a class the other day. We were reading a class novel. In a part of the story, there was an uncle who said that boys fight as a part of growing up. I opened this up for discussion because the school's theme for the month is respect. I mentioned two boys in the class who I know have been in fights (because I have had to break them up) and mentioned that I know they are not afraid of fighting. They smiled in agreement. I asked the class if they believed that fighting is a natural part of growing up. Most of the students said yes. I strongly objected. I then mentioned that I had never been in a fight with anyone. Mouths dropped! Some of the students could not believe it. I told them that I have never been in a fight at school, or even with my brother. I said that I believe that there are different ways of being able to handle yourself and different confrontational situations.

"You have never been in a fight?", a young lady said.

"Nope."

"Not even in a fight with your brother or an argument?", another said.

"No. I think you can be successful and still handle situations differently." I then continued on with the story. I looked up every now and then and saw some of the students were still stunned.

What do you think? I could go on and on about what can tick a person off. Yet, do you think fights, or even confrontations are possible to avoid? I have heard parents, and especially fathers tell their children that if someone hits you, hit back! Whachathink? I'm NOS in wanting to learn...

Oh Yeah...This Is Why I Do This...

2009-10-20T23:30:00.003-04:00

Tonight I had the privilege of attending my oldest son's Upper School presentation at his school. It was an opportunity for us to see the experiences their children are having in school. My son, along with another classmate, spoke about their experiences as fourth graders (he is in the 5th grade now). He spoke with confidence and poise. All of the other students got up and spoke with an eloquence and assuredness. I was very pleased.

They gave a variety of examples of things they encounter while at school. The arts presentation blew my mind. I was watching the presentation, but as a teacher, I was also taking notes for things I could do with my own classes. It was a great experience.

We live about 20 miles away from the school. It is about an hour commute in and an hour commute out. There are several days when we are frustrated with traffic, inconsiderate drivers, our own fatigue, roadblocks, and other factors. Yet, when I saw my son present about his life at school and tell how much he enjoys being there, I was reminded that this is a good sacrifice.

How many times do we do things that we don't want to do, but often have to do to see our children grow? Another prime example happened this past July 4th. We got caught in Baltimore leaving a cookout. My son really wanted to see the fireworks. He was nearly in tears. So what do we do? We race across the city trying to find a good spot. There was none (at least from our location). So we race back to Bowie, MD (seriously, I cannot remember the last time I floored this car like that-Tony Stewart didn't have Jack Squat on me!). My youngest was in the back seat praying, "God, please help us to make it in time to see the fireworks. In Jesus name, Amen." We made it just in time to catch the last ten mintes of the show in the Best Buy parking lot. The look on the boys' faces...priceless!

Sacrifice for my fam... is often times...good. Tell me about some of yours. I'm NOS in knowing...

And by the way...No Speeding Tickets! Nice!

But I Need My Car!

2009-10-17T16:44:00.000-04:00

It turned out to be a day of running around the city. I took care of my minivan; the 'check engine' light was on for the last two days. So, I dropped the kids off at school, drove to 7-11 to get my coffee and donut, and went to the auto repair shop. The repair man checks the car and begins giving me an oil change. He comes back in with the bolt that seals the oil pan and says its damaged.

"You need to get it replaced." he said.

"Okay", I responded as I am sipping my coffee.

About three minutes later, he returns and says, "We have to replace the entire oil pan because it is damaged. I cannot let you drive off with it in this condition. What are you gonna do?"

I'm thinking to myself, "What do you mean, 'What am I gonna do? I have no car!'"

I begin calling my wife only to remember that she was in an all day conference-I could only text her. Meanwhile, the repairmen comes back in the room and says to me in his heavy accent, "You will be without this car for the wekend. You can get it on Monday. God be with you!" And he walks out.

Nice!

This was supposed to be a routine look at the car. It has now become a miniature travel on foot. I had to walk a mile to the Metro in the rain and 40 degree weather with two big bags from work. I found out where my wife was, hopped on the Metro, picked up our other car, and then the kids.

I have begun to talk to my boys about different survival techniques. No, I am not talking about killing squirrels to eat or using tree limbs to make rafts. And plus, squirrel tastes nasty, especially city squirrels; country ones have a better tas...sorry. Our latest 'survival' conversation was how to walk in unfamiliar areas. They understand, hopefully.

We have been truly blessed to have the things that we have. But what happens when those comforts are unexpectantly taken from us, like my car? I had to think on my toes in this instance. I am almost sure that if I don't teach this to my boys now, they may be lost when those situations come. And we know they will come. A while ago, we were at the dinner table talking about procedures needed to be done if there is a fire in the house. The conversation freaked them out a bit, but they will know what to do.

How are you preparing the kids for the unexpected? Talk to me. I am NOS in learning...

He Always Took Us To Shoney's

2009-10-12T22:56:00.000-04:00

My granddad passed away today at the seasoned age of 84. A man of strong faith and character, a teacher, and a deacon. He was awesome!
I am even more grateful to God that my boys got a chance to really experience his wit and fun loving heart. They were able to be with him at least twice in the last three years. He lived in Sumter, SC, and God allowed us the opportunities to make the trip to see him. As he got up in age, he began to forget their names more and more. He had Alzheimer's Disease, so it took a toll on his memory. But he could remember the boys and their character. He could remember what they did when they were younger. He still seemed pretty sharp to me.

If I were to ask my boys about a memory they had of him, I am sure that they would mention going to the breakfast buffet at Shoney's. Every time we entered the city of Sumter, that was our first destination. We would would get up in the morning and go eat plates of pancakes, bacon, and grits! Then we would eat more pancakes, bacon, grits, with sausage! Granddad would sit back in his chair, barely eating, and watch the boys eat and laugh! He loved them. They loved him. He will be missed. I wrote about him in a previous blog. I am so grateful to God that my boys knew him.

I haven't told the boys that he has passed on yet. If you have been in this situation, how did you handle it? School me---I don't have an offseason for learning. And keep me, my family, and especially my grandmother in your prayers. They were married 62 years-incredible!...Peace.

My boys are like NY and California pizzas

2009-10-12T13:37:00.002-04:00

We were in the Bronx this past weekend. My wife and her family was celebrating the life and death of their grandmother; she would have celebrated her 100th birthday this year. Well, the Bronx for me is always a treat. I love the constant activity, the smell of the streets, the racket of the 4 and 5 trains, and the people. So many cultures wrapped into one place. New York is a great place.

As I usually do, I go to White Plains Road and order some slices of pizza. Throw some garlic and oregano on and I am good to go! Since the whole family was with me and everyone was hungry, I ordered a whole pie. While waiting, I watched my two boys in the pizza shop. They reminded me of NY and Cali pizzas. My oldest sat in the front of the shop watching the college football game, oblivious to the other people and commotion of the streets. My youngest stood in the back of the pizza shop in the open window facing the street watching the people go by and listening for the trains, oblivious to the fact the my wife and I were watching him. It is safe to say that the oldest is an introvert (like his dad). He is fine with reading a book or watching the latest scores on ESPN. The youngest is the opposite- he loves to be in the mix and usually asks if we can stay out a little while longer instead of going home. Both are fine in their own way.

It was reminded how I truly have to be conscience of each of their own needs. I also need to take them out of their comfort zone so that they can know how to function. It's a delicate process, but I, with God's help, am going to make it work.

I wanna know what you do. Any secrets on how you meet those needs? I would love to know how other fathers do this (moms, you know I am not excluding you here!) How do you make and juggle the time to do this? School me -- I have no off season for learning...

For a 100 Years

2009-10-01T23:56:00.000-04:00

I went to church on Wednesday night. The men got together during the week to chat about our lives and how the Bible needs to be our influence and guide. One of the men there said something so prolific that I had to write about it. As we talked, he said, "Every man is responsible for a 100 years of impact". In other words, we are responsible for our generation, and the next, and the next. It got me thinking about the legacy I need to leave with my family and my sons' families. I have thought of this before, but I see that reminders are good to have.

I am reminded of how being a parent, and especially a father, is a constant 24 hour, 365 day-a-year job! It's a welcomed and rewarding task. Yet, there are times when I do think about how challenging it can be, and I can become overwhelmed.

I want to prepare my family for success. I want them to undersatnd how the world works. I want them to have an understanding of why they need a faith in God, not because I tell them to, but because my life represents my faith. I want them to have a broader knowledge of how our society works. I want them to know how to treat people fairly. I want my family to have a good name in their community. I want them to have the best and let them know that they are wealthy, not because of money, but because their life has been prospered.

Man, I've got some work to do. We all do. Let me know what you do to show your family this importance. Tell me how you model your life for your family. Let me know what areas you may need to be better in. Drop some wisdom for me and others to see. I do not have an off season in my learning...

Do I Say or Do Something?

2009-09-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

I took my youngest son to a Tae Kwon Do class the other day for the first time. He had never been involved in the martial arts. We won a gift certificate for him to attend. As we go into the building, he seemed rather calm, taking in all of the sights and sounds of the other classes that were going on. My wife and I had been thinking of putting him in a class to help teach a greater level of self-discipline. So this should be good.

The master asked everyone to come into the room and get in place. My son, being only five was a little antsy, but that was to be expected. I sat in the far corner of the room, just enough out of the way so he could not see me and just enough for me to catch a glimpse of what he was doing. I paid careful attention to my son as the instructor gave directions on what to do next. He ordered them to run around the mat until he said stop.

“Go!”, he said.

As all the kids began running around the mat, I hear this little kid yelling at the top of his lungs. Guess who I am praying that it is not? This was one of those unanswered prayers. I wanted to go in the room and ask, no…tell my son to stop yelling, but I couldn’t. He was in the hands of an instructor that I had just met. My son had to follow the orders of someone else in their space. I sat back, trying to use self-control…seething!

As the class went on, my son began to settle in to the routines.

I always want my boys to do their best. Yet, it is challenging not to intercede when you see something not going right. My friend, Mr. Scott, is great with this control. He has a son and daughter who play basketball. I have watched him as he sat at his children’s games. He isn’t yelling at his kids, or even giving sideline advice. Instead, he leaves it to the coaches. Patience and self control are so key here. I had to exercise this self control at my five year old’s Tae Kwon Do class.

How do you feel about this? Should we (as dads) leave it to the coach, or should we give our suggestions and advice? Let’s face it, we know our children better than anyone. And we don’t want to be embarrassed. Lend me your thoughts. I have no off season for learning…

How early is early?

2009-09-14T23:05:00.003-04:00

We will celebrate our 12 year anniversary on September 20th. I have enjoyed being with my wife so much. She makes me so happy! And she keeps me humble and laughing. And she has given me two incredible boys.

Well, my youngest son came up to me and said, "Dad, on your anniversary, are you gonna have a baby?" I stuttered. "Wha...what?"

"On your anniversary, are you gonna have a baby?"

I guess he already asked my wife this question, because they all sat around the couch waiting to hear and see my reaction. All I could do was look at my wife with my most dumbfounded look I could possibly muster.

How early do the 'birds and bees' conversations start? MY SON IS FIVE!!!!!! FIVE!!! And am I ready to have these talks?

Lend me your thoughts because I have no off season for learning...Peace and blessings!

Better with time

2009-09-10T20:33:00.006-04:00

I happened to be looking through some documents at the kitchen table and an old high school photo popped out. I was in this picture looking fly, at least I thought. My beautiful wife was sitting at the table with me. I showed her the photo in the hopes of hearing some kind of encouragement. I said, "See me in the photo?" She said, "I see...ummp!" And then she bursts out laughing. What kind of wife...would laugh at her husband?!?!? Here's the salt to wound -- She then begins to add, "I don't wanna tell you what this looks like because I don't want to hurt your feelings", as she continues to laugh. As I lick my wounds, I ask her to tell me. She proceeds---"You know the show Land of the Lost?" This conversation is not going in the right direction. "You look like the alien on the show!", she says. Nice! We are both laughing by now. At the time of the photo, I was wearing a red cardigan sweater, red turtle neck, grey slacks, black loafers, and some dark sunglasses. You couldn't tell me jack! I was hot!---then! But now, ummmmm.....

My boys look at the photo. The youngest starts yelling out, "Those glasses! Oh my GOSH! Those glasses! What in the world!" And on and on.....

The fortunate thing for me is that my wife said that I have aged well. Thank God for the upgrade. I have to make sure that I keep up with the times. My wife tells me that I should go shopping for me and take care of me. I think more about her and the boys and their needs; I put myself on the back burner. What I have to remember is that I also represent them. Perish the thought if my boys look at me as Frumpy Daddy.

Lend me your thoughts on how you keep it up. There is no off season in my learning...Peace.

My kids were upgraded!

2009-09-09T22:35:00.006-04:00

I recently picked up my boys from visiting their grandparents in Atlanta, Georgia as well as a quick visit to their great- grandparents in Sumter, SC. They are truly blessed to have great- grandparents still alive and active to enjoy them. I was so happy to see them. They seemed to grow a bit since the last time we saw them and a bit more mature; they were with their grandparents for three weeks, a nice break for my wife and I (that will be another blog later).

It seemed that this break from their parents did them well. Yet, they came back...different. Number one...we were no longer being answered with 'yes', but now 'yes sir' and 'yes mam'. Their grandmother taught them that teaching them to add 'sir' and 'mam' will go a long way in showing respect to others, especially those who are older or of authority. Number two...when they made a mistake, it wasn't the usual 'I'm sorry', but rather 'I apologize'. Grandmom told them that they need not speak that they are 'sorry'. Being sorry is for losers! We asked our oldest one night where did they learn these new manners. He said Grandmom taught us these 'better manners'. Okay...there's more.

They came back a lot more helpful around the house, like picking up dishes without being asked. Yes, they had done that in the past, but it just seemed different. Number three...they came back...fatter! What were they eating down there? Sorry, here's the better question -- what were they eating here? Better question -- were they eating enough here? Man, they came back different...for the better.

My boys weren't disrespectful. They were never slobs around the house. But man, did their grandmother bring about some fresh perspectives. And they are welcomed! I didn't have to worry about them being spoiled by grandmom. She was a teacher of over twenty-five years. In fact, my parents and grandparents are all teachers. What she added was an 'upgrade' to my boys culture, a welcomed upgrade. My challenge is to continue what has been taught. I know culture has changed. 'Mam' and 'Sir' are rarely used anymore. Yet, it feels weird to hear our boys use those terms. It feels even stranger to hear them call my wife and I by those terms. I forget that I had to address my parents the same way. Maybe its a southern thang! Or maybe its a respect thang!

Lend me you thoughts. I have no off season in knowing more...BTW, please forgive me for saying 'Sorry' previously; I should have apologized. Sorry about that, I mean I apologize...oh, forget it! My bad!

Hopes and Dreams

2009-09-03T17:59:00.004-04:00

I am a teacher in a public charter school in Washington, DC. The academic year is underway as we prepare to enter our third week of school. The students and teachers are still readjusting from the restful and thoughtful summer. As we do every year, we set out our Hopes and Dreams, helping all of us to focus on how we will have a successful school year. Yet, this year was a bit different. We had a Hope and Dreams Balloon Launch! All of the students on Leadership Hall wrote their academic hopes and dreams as well as their social hopes and dreams. After carefully drafting and editing them, they put them on sticky notes, carefully folded them, and stuffed them in balloons. We blew them up with a helium tank and walked outside to our rather large play yard. All fifth and sixth grade classes came out with their balloons in hand. It was such a sight to see. They were so excited, as well as the teachers! They yelled a harambe poem in unison. I then stood in the middle of all the classes and told them how proud we were of them and of all the things they would accomplish. I also encouraged them to take the moment seriously. I told them to let their balloons go on the count of three. "One-two-three!" The balloons were off to who knows where...maybe parts of DC, Maryland, or even Virginia! The kids were jumping up and down, screaming, watching their hopes and dreams fly off into the air as they claimed victory for themselves. It was an incredible moment!

My kids are in Georgia right now. I will be going to pick them up in a few days. Guess what is one of the first things we will do? Get our own Hopes and Dreams going. I know my boys are going to lose their minds as they see their balloons fly off into the air.

Ideas are everywhere. Take time to look around and see what would benefit you and the lives of your families. Lend me your thoughts and tell me how you inspire yourself and your family. There is no off season in my learning...

The Grands

2009-08-28T21:03:00.007-04:00

I was chatting with my mom earlier. She was mentioning that she wanted to take our boys to see their great- grandparents next weekend as a way to meet up and lessen our drive for when we have to pick them up. As she continued talking, she mentioned how my granddad is doing. He has been challenged with the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease. She then tells me that he has had some other challenges, including a recent stroke. We ended the conversation and I was sobered.

My grandmother lived in a small town in Allendale, SC. We often went there during my younger years. It was a town with about two traffic lights, gnats, one Hardees, and a constant soothing sound of freight and cargo trains. We would sit on the front porch of her house and then daringly jump off. Her car that she had for over 40 plus years still sits under the carport. She passed away some years ago. At the funeral, I was awakened to the fact that I needed to call my grandparents a lot more to check in on them. I got off to a great start. I was calling all of them at least twice a month. It was always good to hear them. Since then, with the welcomed distractions of work, school, and family, my calls seemed to fizzle. The twice a month has turned into a once every two months or longer.

The call from my mom reminded me of the concept of our own mortality and how we need to take advantage of every moment. It also reminds me that we need to cherish the times with our elders. I just don't know when God is going to call them home (this is a very sobering write).

I want my kids to see their great-grandparents. I hope they have a great time there.

Encourage your children to see or call their grandparents. It takes a couple of minutes or a weekend visit. There is no off season for your encouragement. Lend me your thoughts.

He called me "Sir!"

2009-08-25T19:27:00.000-04:00

I was cutting my grass yesterday. Tall blades were high from all of the recent rain that we had been getting. I decided to be a good neighbor and cut our neighbor’s yard as well. She was very appreciative. Well, she sent out a young man to come and sweep up the excess grass that had gathered on her walkway. I saw the young man as I usually do. He is probably no more than about 21 years old. For the sake of privacy, I’ll call him Bob. I said hello; he said, as he always does, “Hello sir!” I was taken aback as I always am when he calls me ‘sir’. He never has tried to get to know my name. He simply calls me ‘sir’. This day, I took notice of this. I began talking to him. We talked about careers and cars while we were sweeping up the grass. We talked about our professions; he thought I was a college professor. A college professor?!?!? Let that one slide. As I readied myself to go inside, I told him my full name. His response was, “My name is Bob, sir!” There goes that “sir” again.

Does he think I am older in age or does he have a level of respect that is somewhat lost? I have not heard our younger generation call anyone ‘sir’ or mam’ in a very long time. As I was growing up, not only were my elders called by those terms, but also my own parents. It was an expectation that was set early. It showed that you respected them. Now, I am not calling any of us to charge our children to do the same. I understand that times have changed. There are many different cultures that do very different things, so I get that as well. Yet, I do encourage us to foster in our kids a level of respect for those who are ‘over us’- whether in age or authority. I will leave that to you. But fostering that respect in our children helps them in life. It also gives them an idea of how they want to be respected.

Lend me your thoughts and tell me how you foster this type of respect in your children. And if you don’t, what can you do to help them along? There is no off season in our learning…

Think like a child

2009-08-22T23:09:00.003-04:00

Children teach us so much. I got an incredible lesson this evening. I was walking through IKEA today with my beautiful wife looking for a table for my office downstairs. We walk the entire IKEA as usual looking for an inexpensive drafting table. The store was full of families with young children aimlessly running around. A little boy saw me and with his parents by his side, began looking at me with these beautiful big, black eyes! He was so cute. As we continued to walk the store, a little girl holding pink butterfly wings looked up at me and said, "Look!". She held up the wings as I admired, not the wings, but her audacity to speak to a stranger. My son has often times walked up to complete strangers and said hi, carried on a conversation, or even hug them! I don't recommend that, though!

Children live in and for the moment. They could often times care less about their appearance or what others think. They make friends easily and know how to forgive and forget. What happened to us? I recently went to a training for school in which we were indirectly challenged to behave and think like children. I took on the challenge. I challenge you to do the same. We often times have to think like a child to understand them; just don't be one.

Lend me your thoughts. Tell me how you stay in touch with your children. I have no off season in learning.

Start Asking!

2009-08-17T18:11:00.005-04:00

Dads, we often times are given advice, but are often times very reluctant to take it. Let's face it...we are men! We think we have all the answers and don't need any additional help. We say we can fix the kitchen faucet, although we have never held a wrench. We think we can put up drywall, but don't know the difference between a phillips and a flat head. We swear we know where we are going, even though our wives are telling us that we really are going the wrong way as she shows us the map....and looks at the GPS...and has a print out from Mapquest.

Advice is something we have confidence in giving, but often times find trouble in taking it (as my wife is giving me advice as I write this!) Well, this happened to me this past weekend. About what, you may ask? This blog! We drove the family down to Atlanta to my mother's beautiful home in the suburbs of Atlanta this past weekend. We were sitting at the breakfast table on Sunday morning eating sausage, eggs, and her famous biscuits while talking about a variety of things. The topic of my blog came up. How?...I am clueless. My mom began telling me how much she enjoyed the blog and how it can truly help fathers raise their children. I am starting to feel pretty good right here. My chest puffs out just a bit. She then begins telling me that I need to write a book! A WHAT??? A BOOK??? Hold on...I have never written... a book! She begins telling me that it would be great to do and how it would be so helpful, and so on and so on. It didn't help that my wife kept chiming in; not with words, but with those sly side looks like, "Umm...yep...see...I told you...". I'm thinking, "Woman, can you be supportive?" The big head I had from the compliments soon turned into a burst bubble with something to think about.

Dads, we have all shunned advice, but we should consider it more. Trust and believe- not all advice is good advice. We have to use wisdom to be able to decipher what will be best for us and our family. It is always good to ask clarifying questions to be clear on the advice. But we should develop a heart of humility that will allow us to see the bigger picture. We need to ASK! Ask about fatherhood, marriage, vocation, money, etc. There is a great verse in the Bible that says "Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise." Challenge yourself to find a friend or mentor and seek that advice. Dads, there is No Off Season for learning. Lend me your thoughts.

I've gotta be there

2009-08-07T12:20:00.003-04:00

Last night was a really rough one. My youngest son was in tremendous pain. He was constipated! We were praying throughout the night asking God to help ease this discomfort. He was screaming and hollering. At one point in the night, he was saying, "I can't take it anymore! I can't take it anymore!" It was a moment when I felt completely helpless and guilty because I was not feeling the same pain he was; nor could I take his pain away. I never want my boys in pain. It hurts to see. It's now 2:00 am. I did everything I could possibly think of to help him. Nothing was working, nothing except this...

"Son, I need to give this to you. I know you can do it, but I need you to be brave." I needed to give him a suppository. "Son, can you do this? It will take five seconds and then I am done."

"Okay dad. But will it hurt?"

"No, son! I would never give you something that would hurt you." He squeamishly gives me the okay until he sees what it is. He hates them.

"Dad, can't God just make it better?", he says in a frightened voice.

"Yes, He can. He also gives us things to help make things better. So I need you to be brave or we may have to go to the hospital."

"Okay."

The rest of the gory details I will leave out. Let's just say that through prayers and a little meds, he had victory! Around 2:15 am, he finally stretched across his bed and pulled the covers over him. As I tucked him in, he simply said, "Thanks dad." Those two words meant the world to me!

Moms are usually always there. We hear celebrities and star athletes ALWAYS give shout outs to their moms. When my sons get those opportunities, I want to hear a shout out to me as well as their mom. Not because I feel I deserve it, but because I was...there. Dads, be there...

Lend me your comments and give feedback, examples, or encouragement to dads (and moms) that read this. There is no off season in our time with our children. Peace.

Before you go, I have to tell you this...

2009-07-31T11:24:00.009-04:00

My wife and oldest son had been feverishly preparing for this for over two years. A sojourn to Egypt is what monopolized the attention of this house for about the past week. We've been packing, buying last minute items, and anticipating an almost 24-hour travel. As my wife was packing at the gorgeous time of 4:15 am, I was writing some thoughts to my son. I was giving him advice-technical, moral, physical, and spiritual advice. Even while cutting his hair last night, I was advising him. At the end of the letter, I gave him my blessing.

I wrote a letter to Paula as well. And just like the one to my son, I gave her the same type of advice, just more seasoned for her needs. And at the end of the letter, I gave her my blessing. I packed the letters away in their suitcases. They won't see them until they reach their hotel in Egypt.

I learned and was reminded of a couple of things from their upcoming experience. First, perseverance has its rewards. They stuck this program out for over two years when a lot of others were unable to complete it. Secondly, I have to continue to infuse my family with advice and wisdom. Proverbs speaks of this often. Lastly, I learned that I have to bless my family. Sending them off with my blessing, and even more importantly, God's blessing helps me feel so much more secure in knowing that they will have a fantastic time.

Give me your feedback on how these penned words have affected you. It's easy to leave your loved ones each day in a haste without truly giving them what they need to hear and feel. Leave your comments-I have no off season in learning...

There's a bat in my house!!!

2009-07-28T15:37:00.000-04:00

It must have been around 12 midnight on Monday morning. We were winding down from what seemed to be a very active day. We had guests over for most of the day and into the evening. I am lying on the couch on the computer playing a game and watching TV while Paula is reading and watching TV (how we concentrated on one or the other is beyond me). Law and Order was on the tube. I happened to look up and I see this black image agitatingly flying across the room. I figured I could have been tired. I was in the studio the night before and Sunday was hot and busy. Then, this same image I thought I saw flew over Paula's head. I yelled out, "A bat!" Paula looked up and saw it as well. She started screaming! I became hysterical myself! As Paula is trying to run upstairs, I violently push the couch to the side and open up the front door in the efforts of letting it fly out. Let's not forget that I have a front door and a storm door! My wife is running up the stairs and I pass her only to open our bedroom door and lock ourselves in. I'm sweating! Oh snap!- my boys' room door and the bathroom is open. So I slip back out, close those doors and run back into my bedroom. Thanks God I closed the boys' door in time. If the boys saw a bat inside their room, we might as well start looking for a new house-they would believe it to be haunted!

I go to the window and begin to prop it up. Paula asks me, "Dijon what are you doing?"

"I am opening the window because I need you to look and see that the bat flew out when I go down there to open the door." I had no clue that Paula was already on her I-phone looking up ways to get bats out of the house. As I was opening up my window, my next door neighbor was pulling in from work. So, here I am, in my window, way past midnight calling out his name.

"Alex!", using my soft, pensive Golf Channel voice. "Alex, there's a bat in my house!"

"A bat?", in his calming, thick Latin American accent.

"Yes, a bat!"

He peaks in my house because, again, I only opened the front door, but not the clear storm door. He says he saw it. I told him that I was going to try and go open the door. As I open my french doors, I began to quietly walk out only to see that the bat had flown upstairs! OMG! I bolted back in the bedroom, knocking the french doors off the lock! I'm sweating even more-clothes just wet! I am back in the window talking to Alex. He now had a broom in his hand, opened the door, and watched the bat fly out.
I am thinking how crazed I felt that night. I am thinking now that I probably should have let Paula go up the stairs first. I am also thinking that if I had just opened the storm door, this minor incident would not be a minor screenplay.
The greatest lesson for me is to remember how there are people in your lives that come just at the right time-to give encouragement, to help out with kids, or in this case, to open the door to let out a bat. I need to take time to reflect on how God has put them in my life and how I need to continue to nurture those relationships.
Take some time and think of some people who you could encourage. There is no off season when it comes to encouragement. Someone can always use it. Who knows-if you open the door, you may be their relief as well. Lend me your thoughts.

He can do it...

2009-07-24T23:20:00.001-04:00

My wife was in a minor car accident that has really given her some challenges with her back. This past Sunday, she was in so much pain that it was extremely hard for her to get out of bed. Well, I had to make a decision; let my oldest stay with her and help or bring both boys with me to church and let her rest. I wrestled with the decision for a bit because I don't want them to miss church. At the same time I did not want my wife to be in need and no one be there for her. I decided to have my oldest stay with her.

Before I left, I pulled him to the side and gave him very specific instructions. "Son, I want you to make sure that your play time is at a minimum and ensure that mommy is well taken care of. If she needs food, drinks, whatever, make sure she gets it." He said he was fine with that. Well, I take the youngest with me to church and choir rehearsal. After church, I returned home to see my beautiful wife looking a lot better. I asked her how she was doing and she tells me that she was fine. But her joy came from my ten year old son being such an incredible servant. She said he brought her the food she needed, the drinks, and whatever requests she wanted. She said he was so attentive to her needs that she just about wanted to cry.

He was growing up. He was maturing. A part of me was thinking that he was supposed to do these things. Another part of me was ridiculously proud of him. And then a small part of me was thinking, "Why does he not do that all the time?" I have to remember that it is a process. It is showing him daily how to serve and setting the example in the home. It was ironic, though- that same day at church, the sermon was about being a servant. Maybe my oldest had read about it in his Bible or seen me try to serve at home. Or maybe, just maybe, he had a secret microphone at church that he was listening to from home. Either way, he stepped up to the plate and I am so proud of him.

Let me know what type of things you are teaching your children to do. We have no off season in learning...

Train a child in the way he should go...

2009-07-21T17:58:00.000-04:00

My boys have been going to a great summer camp for the last week and a half; they absolutely love it. My wife and I do too. It is an added bonus that a friend of ours teaches there as well as brings her kids there; we know them from church. It gives the kids the opportunity to keep abreast of their academic skills in the morning while having fun in the afternoon. They get fantastic field trips, great snacks, and lasting friendships.

Each beautiful morning I implore them to use godly wisdom and self-control as they go about their day making different decisions - kids they should and should not hang with, when to speak and not to speak, when to have fun and when to be serious, and the like. We use Bible scriptures and pray through these things- every morning. And I know my children, so I know this is needed. Today, I think those conversations were noticed.

At the end of the day, my son's teacher walks up to me and said, "I love your son! He is so well mannered and respectable. He's smart and he helps around in the classroom. He is a joy to have!" Wow! I felt proud, warmed, and humbled. This parenting thing does have rewards.

In the Name of Democracy

2009-07-20T22:31:00.000-04:00

I took my entire family to a town hall meeting at Prince Georges Community College tonight. It was on health care, a major agenda being pursued by President Obama. Senator Cardin of MD was the main speaker. Of coarse, my boys, who are 10 and 5, could really have cared less about the cost of health care. Yet, they were rather respectful of the meeting. There were hundreds of people there, all waiting patiently to voice their concerns to the senator. He had done these before, but not my young boys. It was their first time. As a matter of fact, it was mine as well. I was so proud of them.

I thought it to be very important for them to be able to experience this. Does this make them grow faster, or mature them more? I am not sure. But I do know that having an experience of any kind can always bring new perspectives.

We left a little after the open questioning began; my youngest was beginning to get antsy. Yet as we were walking out, I explained to them that they saw a part of democracy in action, a morsel of how laws and changes are made in our government. I told that them that voicing their opinions at these types of events helps our leaders know what the people want and need. My son's simple response to let me know that he understood all of this was, "Cool!"

The Beginning

2009-07-18T14:12:00.000-04:00

This is the first time I have ever written a blog about anything. I have responded to them in the past and have found a lot as very interesting. I hope that you find this one a great resource and inspiration. I am sure that it will be full of great info, laughs, an convictions. I really look forward to sharing life with you.

The Bassman